NOTE: This is a ramble post, so I feel that this deserves point form.
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~* I have been noticing that I have become quite cynical the further along I get in the grieving process. So am I now the eternal pessimist (I have been known to call myself this on occasion), or am I just a realist? I say realist because I am now realistic about the "finer" points in life (ie: pregnancy).
~* With me becoming more and more cynical, I notice that I spend a fair amount of time on the phone bitching about people and their stupidity. Dare I ask... am I cynical or just sensitive to what people say?
~* Speaking of being too sensitive to what people say ~ why is that? Why do we (and by we, I mean those that have been through a pregnancy loss) feel the need to get our shackles up over something petty that someone has said? After all, these people are (in my opinion) just clueless as to the hurt that we feel each and every single day, so why do we find ourselves in this situation? I know that I am not the only out there that goes through this!
~* With these realizations that I made, I tried to make a positive post to show that I can be happy, but lo and behold, I am bitching.....ARGH!
~* Speaking of bitching ~ last week, I was attacked (and by attack, I mean stung..once) by a bee on my eyelid. Ok..no problem, I went inside, iced my eye, made sure that the stinger was out and then slightly panicked about the large amount of swelling that was rising by the second. My hubby was great and went into town and bought me some Benadryl to stop the itching...fast forward to the next morning, I awake to the hopeful thoughts of a normal eye ~ HAHAHAHA! Now there's a joke! My eye (if I can call it that anymore) is now swollen almost completely shut and I have a shiner circling the lid and an inch underneath the eye. Fast forward even more, 4 days to be exact, we have tickets to go and see Phantom of the Opera and for the first time that week, my eye looks normal and I can actually leave the house now!
And lets fast forward once more, shall we? Today ( as in almost 2 weeks later) I awake to a constant need/urge to scratch the ever loving snot out of my cheek. WTH? Now, as I sit here typing, my cheek is swollen (see, cheek implants) and I am back to icing, but not my eyelid. I give up!~* Oh...I have a positive thing to say!!! Duke, is getting a sister! Yes, Greg and I have decided that he needs a playmate! Correction, I have decided that I need someone/something to muckle on to and nurture and what a better way to share my love, but with another puppy! She is going to be our Christmas gift to each other and she is going to be a pure-bred yellow lab! I am so freakin' excited!!
Ok, now that I am smiling, I am going to call it quits for the night. How's that for positive? ;)
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