Friday, October 26, 2007

Bitch Session

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The first and foremost thing that I would like to get off of my chest tonight is that I have been made aware that people in my life read my blog; expected, yes, but the thing that I have a problem with is that things that I have said here are for me to verbalize how I am feeling with no repercussions for anything that I may have said. Yes, I realize that if I didn't want you to read it, I wouldn't have sent you the link, but I tend to think of this as my diary of my personal thoughts and a way to unload ~ if you feel it necessary to bring things up that I may have said about you then please don't hold it against me for reading what I have written and taking offense to it.
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I am going back to work on Monday ~ yes, after 7 months of being off, I am back to the daily grind. Please send some positive vibes that I don't snap or break my back.
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I am a Facebook user and several women that I work with are as well ~ a certain woman that I have never really been able to tolerate much is now pregnant with her 2nd child and is due the 1st week of December. Sweet.....I only have to put up with her for a week when I get back. Things are looking up, right??!! Ummmm, no...no, they are not! Said woman is having a surprise baby shower being thrown at work the VERY-FREAKING-WEEK- THAT -I - GET-BACK. Yes, I was part of the mass private message that was sent to all of my other co-workers through Facebook. Lucky, lucky me.
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The post that I wrote about me feeling like an elephant in the room now has more drama dragged into it ~ apparently, the certain family member of said pregnant person told her that I was "putting all of my problems" on her. W-H-A-T???????? Needless to say, it sounds like I am apparently the bad guy here ~ you know, because I have had multiple pregnancy losses and because the certain family member can't deal with that, I'm the one that has to be made to feel bad. Uhhhh, no. Not going to happen. I cannot change who I am or what I have been through; if I could I wouldn't be here typing this out, now would I?
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I am still amazed at the amount of people that just don't get it. I know this is nothing new, but it amazes me and frustrates me every now and then.

2 comments:

Kristen said...

Oh Cass,
I logged on to see how you were doing! I have been thinking about you. I know this week is going to be hard for all of us. Something in your post hit home. I am constantly shocked and saddened by people and how they handle our grief. It sucks and isnt fair that they cause us more pain than we are already in! You know what I say to them now - the hell with you! I would rather not see any of my family if it means that I wouldnt have to hear stupid comments etc. I am perfectly content surrounding myself with people who actually care. So that is my advice to you - I know you must have people there that are supportive - just surround yourself with them and light will shine again! You can always come back to us at SG! Take care honey ok! Sending you big hugs!!!! Love, Julianasmommy!

Anonymous said...

You are an amazing person with a great deal of strength. Sometimes when people don't have the whole story, or don't know you very well, comments can be made. To you, these comments can seem harsh and you have every right to be upset about them. My question to you is, why would this "said pregnant person" report back to you with these negative comments. Most times, negative reactions stem from negative things. Perhaps the problem is not with the "said pregnant person's" family member, but with the "said pregnant person. Just a thought.

I can tell that you already feel like everyone is tip-toeing around you, afraid they might say something to offend/hurt you. Shouldn't your friend be trying to spare you from that as much as possible? The truth always gets stretched when unrelated individuals talk. It's a nasty thing we call gossip. I'm not saying that your friend is being malicious...she might not really know how to be there for you the way you need her to be.

Most people, with a few exceptions, are not bad and most wouldn't provide those types of hurtful comments unless provoked. Please keep in mind that you are loved and cared about. As hard as it may be, try to stay focused on the positive things and people in your life. There is light at the end of the tunnel...no matter how small or distant it may seem now.

Take care of yourself :)

Love, your friend.