This past week has been a poor-pity me week and my head is full of the anguishing and haunting "why's" ~ I HATE the why's; they suck.
This is where this handy dandy little blog comes in ~ time to clear out my head and rid these pesky little thoughts.
- Why is it that I have to be the horror story to all women who are pregnant and have never had nor considered a loss?
- Why can't my darling little girls be here with me, safe and warm?
- Why can't I let go of things?
- Why am I so damn sensitive?
- Why do I have to face a possible future without a child?
- Why won't my husband open up to the thought of adopting?
- Why am I plagued daily with idiotic thoughts of getting pregnant again?
- Why do I put on my plastic smile about 90% of the time?
- Why can't I just tell it like it is? Should I really have to worry about hurting other people's feelings when they haven't considered mine?
- Why does it seem that it truly does rain when it pours?
- Why can't I have my naivety back? I miss it.
- Why can't I be one of those women that accidentally get pregnant and have that perfect fairy tale ending?
I guess I know where this is all going ~ NOWHERE. Looking back at my edited version of my why's, I see that they all do have one answer ~ because I am that person; I have had losses. This is me and I somehow have to find a way to live like this person and adapt.
THIS BITES.
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