In my own dream world, I would l-o-v-e to work for myself. Some of you may be asking why right now and I will tell you ~ I want to work for myself or by myself so that I won't have to hear stupid comments that turn my inner groan button on.

This weekend has been a groan button activated one, that's for sure! The highlights are as follows :

• Helping a resident bath (yes, again!) she asks me how many children I have. *Insert inner groan and stab to the heart here* I simply say that I don't have any and she then proceeds to explain to me that her brother and sister in-law had adopted years ago and they ended up adopting a mistake. While my hubby may not want to adopt as of this moment, I would like to think (by this, I mean dream) that we will hear the tender tone of a child's laughter in our house someday.

**I get that my "story" isn't plainly written on my forehead, but for the love of god, can I not just have a normal day at my place of work? I like to go to work so for 8 hours, I can escape my inner pain!!**

• At lunch in the dining room, I was feeding a resident and behind me is a little old lady, who is nothing but negative and whiny. As I was feeding my resident, I hear one of the staff workers ask the whiny/negative resident if she ever had any children. Of course, the woman says no and to this the staff member replies " You can tell, you're pretty un-sympathetic".

While I agree with what my co-worker said, it got me to thinking ~ is that going to be me? Am I going to be a nasty old woman when I am in my 80's? Am I going to be the elderly woman who all the staff feel sorry for because she has no family that comes in to visit her? These were the thoughts that instantly invaded my brain and made my heart ache.

Don't get me wrong, at this point in time I do realize the tiny advantages to being childless. I can come and go as I please (well, maybe not quite with Crosby!) and I can go on trips with my hubby and not worry about the child that may have been left behind and I can be completely selfish and spend money on things that I don't certainly need.

However, when I take the time to sit and think about it, the constant pain in my heart tells me that I need to be a mother someday. I know it. You know it. Does my future know it?

Ok, back to what this post was originally about: I would just like to go to work and not have the painfully obvious pointed out to me. Is that too difficult to ask? I know that I work in a female dominated field and I love where I work and what I do, and I am aware that most women tend to have children, but why is it that I constantly am reminded that I am the minority there?