What the hell? Ok, I guess I should get more to the point, huh? Obviously I knew that we are in the month of January, but tonight while I was on a break at work, it hit me. Holy shit, it's January!?!?? As in it's January, 2 and a half months before Peyton's 1st anniversary.....................................................................................................
~...sorry, had to take a moment to shake my head again...~
Where the hell have I been? Yes, I know, oh, how I know....I've been grieving, but where in the midst of this grieving, did the year go?
I wonder if it's because I have (unfortunately) been there and done that before? I mean, the year after losing Quinn was so L-O-N-G, but I ask again ~ what the hell?
And you know, truth be told, I feel like I have gyped my second dead daughter of the soulful mourning that I did for her sister. Don't get me wrong, I cry and I do all of the same things that I did after losing Quinn, but it's waaaayyyyy much more tinged with the raw emotion of anger. I some days feel bad for not grieving the loss of Peyton as I did for Quinn, but I guess all that can be said is that it is in fact different this time around.
I guess I can say that I am in fact pissed right the hell off that I got gyped. Enough said.
1 comment:
Holy crap .... it can't have been 9 months already? I swear it feels like 5 months - maybe. Or forever ago ... who knows.
Grief warps everything in its path.
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