What Not to Say/Do

In my "make lemonade" state, I had a rush of anger at some of the things that have been said/ done to me. Over the years, I have seen many "what not to say to a grieving parent" lists, so I thought that I would create my own; I guess more than anything to blow off some steam.

• Don't expect me to care how other women's pregnancies are going....the truth is, I don't care; I have lost 2 children to stillbirth and my optimism is shot.


• Don't tell me every little thing about these women's pregnancies ~ I know, I've been there, remember?!?


• Don't expect anti-depressants to "fix" me ~ I highly doubt that I will ever be "fixed".


• Don't keep telling me to talk to someone; it's called grief....let me go with it.


• Do not give me the pity look; plain and simple, I hate it. I don't need any one's sympathy, I've got my own, thank you very much!


• Don't think that because I don't talk about my girls that I'm okay....I will always think about my girls and perhaps I'm not talking about them because there is nothing that you can do about it.


• If other people ask you how I am doing, tell them that I am fine; they don't need to know exactly how I'm doing. There are a few things that I like to keep private.


• Don't ask me how I'm doing on a constant basis ~ if I feel like honestly telling you, I will. If I don't feel like talking about how I feel, I won't.


• Don't try to find reason as to why this has happened ~ believe me, I've tried; over and over.

Well, I guess that's it for now.....just a little nugget of pent up anger! I wish that I could wear a sign or something; that way people will know up front what my limitations are.

I wish that people would get that I'm a changed person. I'm not the me I was even after losing Quinn, I'm different, accept it and don't try to change it.