For once in my life, I am looking forward to see what this year will bring. I can't help but shake this feeling that it is going to be a great one at that!
Will a child be brought into my life? Will I find some sort of peace and inner happiness? Or will this be the year that everything just kind of falls into place and I just kind of float along with it?
You don't have to actually "know" me to know me ~ of course I want a child, but I would love to find that inner peace/happiness too! I am tired. Exhausted. Mentally. I want to be free of all the cynicism, doom and gloom that clouds around me all the time. I want to breathe.
Lately, I keep having flashbacks to certain time frames ~ for those who have walked the same path as I have, you know what I mean. The internal calendar that remains locked in our hearts of certain dates and memories our our lost children. Dates that I am sure, we will never forget.
So, I am having these flashbacks everywhere I go and I can't help but think about what may lie ahead my my husband and I. I want a child, I really, truly do. I am quite positive that by the end of this year, I will be pregnant with a child. A child that we will get to bring home.
And with every new year, there are resolutions that are thought up with the best of intentions, but because this is the year that I am certain will be fabulous, I am going to list my resolutions here and I will stick to them and update on their progress.
- My first and most difficult one is to lose weight. Not just a few pounds. A. LOT. I know that this will be a long process, but I sincerely hope to say that by the end of this year I have lost at least 60 pounds. I will be quite happy with that number, but of course, more will be welcome! I am going to NYC in April with a few of my girls, and I would like to say that I have lost 30 of those pounds by then. Diet starts Monday!
- I have an appointment set-up with my family doctor to 'talk'. I am determined to find some answers as to why I lost the girls. Stay tuned.....
- I would like to deepen my relationship with my husband as well. We spend so much time busy with other things other than our relationship.
- Last, I plan to spend more time with my family. They all live an hour away and I hardly see them as it is. Sad, I know!
There it is.... what do you think my chances are?!?
3 comments:
where you come from!
We have been keeping up with your blog for a while now. The Lord often brings you to my heart during my quite time. I am going to pray for you (as I have been for us too) with CONFIDENCE that the Lord will give you the desires of your heart to be a parent. Welcome 2009!!!
Although we have differences in culture, but do not want is that this view is the same and I like that!
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