Time Flies??!!?? NOPE!

Tomorrow marks the 2 year anniversary of when Peyton became an angel ~ holy sh*t! It does and it doesn't seem like all that time has passed already; but I guess the calendar doesn't lie, now does it?!

Up until a half hour ago, I was cool as a cucumber,but while I was out for a walk with the dogs, it hit me. LIKE. A. TON. OF. BRICKS. As we all know the horrible memories that replay over and over in our minds, I won't need to describe what is playing in my mind.

I really don't know how I am going to get through work tomorrow without having a minor meltdown. This is the first time between the 2 girls that I have had to work through an anniversary. I know that I will be busy enough to keep it pushed back in my head, but I know fear that that ache will be there in front. The only thought that will keep me sane is knowing that I get to come home to my hubby and cry on his shoulder.

This is one of those days where I can actually feel & hear the silence of not having any child/ren to hold tight. The old familiar heartache has once again wedged itself in my chest.

Anger has always been a distant thump away, but today it lies within my heart too ~ why? Why me? Why two precious babies?