Summer Feelings Part 2

As a continuation of my previous outburst of summertime craziness; I have more to rant on about. Ok, not necessarily rant about but to share some more of my craziness.

The most recent is learning of a co-workers upcoming death; uh, I mean the news of her serious illness. Yes, the big "C". And by big, I mean big; as in all throughout her body and now invading her brain. It all kind off puts our own misery into perspective and makes us realize that our lives, not so shitty. Of course, it also makes my husband and I want to reclaim our lost years from the grief and grab life by the balls and enjoy every single minute and live. L-I-V-E. In a strange way, I feel bad learning from her misfortune as she spend her last month (if that) on earth scared to bits and here we are living it up.

Keeping this little bit of info in mind, I have come to another conclusion ~ I WILL have a child someday. Someday. I most certainly don't know when and I most certainly do know that it won't be any time soon, but I know within my heart of hearts, it will be. With all of this talk of us living, I can't ignore that nagging; almost poking feeling at the bottom of my heart. No matter how much I live and enjoy life, it won't be truly enjoyable until I share it with a child of my own.

As far as my last post goes, I'm still ticked; not ticked, just bothered I'll say. Since writing it all out, I have realized something else ~ does she think that I spend my days just pining away for a child? That I'm completely consumed by the loss of my children? Seriously. A) She doesn't nor will she ever know the kind of love and strength that I have when it comes to them and B) I'm too busy trying to live my life and finding a way to adapt to even hold a thought in my mind about whether or not I am bothered by her having a child. I'm sorry that this has turned into a rant about this again, but for the love of pete, give me some more credit. Thanks.

On to some good news ~ my hubby and I are debt free. In a small sense. If you consider only having the needed monthly bills to pay like satellite and phone, then good, we are debt free! Ha, that almost sounded convincing for a moment! We're not "debt free" so to speak, but we do have a decent amount added on to our mortgage, that's for sure! Oh well, it does feel good to not worry about how to pay off the rather large VISA bills now!

I am becoming increasingly irritated by the idiotic people that I work with. I'm a PSW ~ Personal Support Worker or better known as a Professional Shit Wiper. It's not rocket science; why do some people not have a freakin' clue? Seriously. Some of the people that I work with cover all of the spectrum's ~ there are the baby talkers; yes, just the other day while working on the Bath Team, I heard the girl that I worked with tell the resident that she needs to get the "soapy woapy" off. Oh my freakin' god. I kid you not. Then there are the complete idiots that just-don't-get-it. I'm sorry, if you have been there for at least 3 months, you should have the lay of the land and know what the hell you are doing and who is who.

I need a cigarette to calm my nerves. I'll be back later.